I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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