..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
