I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
The power of my boobs compel you
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
