I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize