Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
