The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
