It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
