It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
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I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
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just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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