i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
