She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
accomplished twins. life is a go
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
