Dual....:-)
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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