she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
