and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize