if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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