i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize