i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
