There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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