You're my little dorito
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize