i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
