i think i have two assholes
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize