wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
