Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
This is my gift to your gina
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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