you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
bring money and cleavage
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
