I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
