If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
