how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
