It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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