GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
