under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
