hotel room ftw
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
