They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
