As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Randomize
