I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
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