The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
