I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
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If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
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I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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