She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
