weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
