Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
