So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
