I accidentally had phone sex last night
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
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