i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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