if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
