Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
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I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
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I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
We're too hungover to prance.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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