Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
