...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
