dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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