My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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