Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
