I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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