apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
