Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I am naked and annoyed.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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