The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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