please come you make the beer taste better
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
