That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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