You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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