Porn is love you can see.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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