We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
