like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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