it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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